Congruence is about balance – inner peace and contentment. Congruence helps prepare us to living a MEANINGFUL life directed by purpose towards destiny. People should not really worry where they are placed in terms of economic productivity – and here i am referring to whether you work for someone or you work for yourself. The objective should be the ability to draw from internal forces to pursue flourishing regardless of the environment. Motivation should be generated internally regardless of the environment.

I know of companies that have put up a lot of money – invested in modern technology and resources just to create an environment perceived to be conducive for employees to flourish – and first of all the very same companies did not have a tool to measure ROI in terms of that investment, and secondly, the workforce perceptions instead dropped a point below where they were initially. What can we learn from this – indeed we can learn that we cannot buy people’s happiness. Money cant buy peace! If it is seen to work we now it is only temporary – it cannot replace deeper ISSUES within the TISSUES.

Generally we look good, well dressed, educated, having money with good positions – but inside our tissues we have thorny issues that non of this stuff we seem to have can actually fix. We live under a well constructed mask underpinned by perceived social relevance. Indeed the beginner thinks and believes that this balance is brought about by external means – but the fact is you really get it by first :

being self-aware
being self-accepting
For mastering the above, one needs to start by understanding their personality – and ultimately and gradually develop character strengths. Life on it own is work in progress. In pursuit of challenging the reader towards a more detailed examination of this subject, Part One of my discourse defined how human beings generally have three types of personalities, namely Original Personality, Formed Personality and Available Personality. The article dealt with Original Personality and stated that though this is a disposition from our birth which sometimes allows us to live “faked” life, or turns the perceived unusual to be “normal”, we have a CHOICE to use AVAILABLE PERSONALITY to live the life we want. This article will look at this type of personality.

To be able to tap into our Available Personality, it is wise to “uncling” from our fascination with our Original Personality. We also need to let go of our fear – we have fears as a result of either our past experiences – whether direct or indirect and also because of our interpretation of life in general. These seem to MEAN more to us than what the reality actually is. The thought of loss or failure has a sense of perceived reality in our lives – we seem to know how it would feel if we were to lose something and as a result we formulate MEANING of what it is to lose, for instance losing a job, losing a relationship etc.

It is true that we tend to cling to so many things simply because of fear of interpreting or experiencing life without them. That is why someone is in a relationship that is not really bringing the desired results – but the thought of living out of it has many connotations that need preparedness – first how will one experience life, secondly social stigmas related to perceptions of that very occurrence.

Formed Personality is exactly that – a personality that we form based on our habits and thoughts of our minds. interestingly those thoughts are usually underpinned by prevailing paradigms at a certain point in time. Formed personality can be either formed by incumbent or learned as a practice or directly resultant from experiences. As i mentioned earlier – our personality is a precursor for our Character – in this instance – someone who has been deeply betrayed before finds it very hard to be honest in any relationship because of their past experiences. As such they form a personality out of that experience. That personality brings MEANING, e.g ” The fact that he did not recognise my new dress means he is no longer interested in me – there is someone he is now focussed on – i know this because it happened to me in the past”. I dont even want to talk more about relationships – fact is that most of them are in an irretrievable breakdown, or broken down simply because of ISSUES deep in TISSUES.

Available Personality is about freedom – is about boldness to live life free of fear and prejudice – its about living a life full of love. Where there is love there is no doubt. Real love does not have expectations – its all about giving – giving becomes life itself – just like the universe gives. There is no day we are expected to repay the oxygen we have given to us freely – nor do we have to replace or pay back the gravitational force that keeps us balanced on our planet. The universe if giving – that is UNCLINGING.

How do we UNCLING – How do we OFFLOAD? We can simply do that by upgrading the Available Personality. The next article – Part 3 – will be providing steps for upgrading the Available Personality and living a flourishing life!

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