Na Condition Make Crayfish Bend 6

A few years ago I accepted a position that I ended up regretting a few months into the position.  I had just resigned from one position and was scared of being unemployed again and so I rushed into this position with every belief that I was the right person for the position.  The honeymoon ended after three months and I spent the next thirteen months bending myself into all shapes and sizes to prove to my superiors that I was indeed the right person for the job.  The more I tried the more I lost who I was.  I became paranoid, stressed, to the point that for the first time in my life I was prescribed with anti depressants.  There were times I would sit in my office and cry.  There way days I would leave for work with my stomach in knots and there were those days that I would come home miserable and take it out on my family.

Why am I writing this? My husband lived in Nigeria for many years and speaks pigeon English.  He has a saying that we laugh about as a family, ‘na condition make crayfish bend’.  This simply put is exactly what I did,  I took on a position that was not my natural default and I kept bending and bending until I was tied up in knots.  Most of us do this where we take the next best thing because what we really want is elusive.

I envy those who know exactly what they want and go after it, not compromising or bending just to remain resolute in their vision.

I have just excused myself from a similar situation realising that I was taking myself back another three years.

I have a business of my own.  It is not yet a making millions but it has the potential.  I have the knowledge and talent to make it successful and I get excited about its sheer potential to impact phenomenally on the people of South Africa and beyond and so now I am firmly rooted not looking anymore at what else others can offer me.  Rather I am going to put all my efforts into building a business that will be exemplary and create long-lasting impact.

I am sure i am not the only one who has taken on roles that they are not right for because of circumstance.  But as we end this year I would like to urge each of u readers to think of your own journey, consider the vision you have for yourself and make changes that will bring you joy.  Without vision it is difficult to know where we are going but it makes it easy for us to make the wrong choices which in the end affects everyone around us.

Have a lovely day.

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6 thoughts on “Na Condition Make Crayfish Bend

  • Lynel Farrell

    Thank you for this discussion Millie!  Sometimes we make the wrong turn or try different routes without knowing what impact it will have in our life.  We do not always have control of the end result, but at least we did give it a go!  I wish you well in your journey, don’t give up!

  • Petra Penninkhoff

    Thanks Millie for posting this. It also applies to short term assignments. In 2015 I was panicking not having an income and depending on my savings. I took an assignment that appeared great. It was, working with a large range of people and we understood each other perfectly. However, the people who paid (but who where not involved in the actual work and discussions) did not and they only paid me a percentage of my fee. My main frustration was and is that they followed their opinion and did not heed the opinion of the people I worked with and for. It frustrated me and still frustrates me, but I came to realise that it is not worth my time and energy to fight them on that. And now I too have decided to stick to what I do best and love to do. I am fortunate enough to be in a position that allows me to do that. And I really feel for people who do not have that opportunity. Hopefully their time will come. 

    Wishing all an inspiring and productive 2016


  • Tarynn Petersen

    Wow Millie, truly inspiring. I find myself in a similar position having been employed by organisations whose values are not bespoke to mine and experiencing extreme frustration in the process. I believe that God has sent you to answer my prayers and fears I am currently experiencing. Thank you Millie for your honesty and insight.

  • hugo john

    How true and thanx for sharing that . I always like to talk about the ADD syndrome – ATTITUDE DETERMINES DESTINY and while we are looking back at the year ending and reflecting on the new year let us all remember that GOD gave us life and the right to choose. May he give us the strength to make the right choices in the future. Change is often brought about by circumstance.

  • Victoria Siphiwe Mamvura-Gava

    Wooow Millie, indeed changes that will bring  Joy. I wish I was wise at 27 as is my daughter. She is a PhD student at UCT and works as a temp 3 days a week to allow her time to study. She was recently offered a job that would pay 2.5 times what she is getting now, by another organisation. She  mentioned to the recruiting agency that she would want flexi time to allow her study and was told its a 5 day job. The organisation contacted her they were willing to allow her work 4 days. However, her gut told her she would not fit in well as she had picked along the way a few things, I could not have picked at 27. She now has another offer,  while waiting for her current employers to give her a permanent offer to compare with this new offer. One thing I know she would not want  ‘na condition make crayfish bend’.

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