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The story of 44 year old Joseph Khohlokoane, who waited 17 years to graduate at UCT has inspired and horrified many South Africans.On Friday IOL reported that Khohlokoane worked as a petrol attendant…Continue
Top Five Regrets By Bronnie Ware
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
I recently came across the term ‘explosion of busyness’ which was used to describe our current culture. The article explains that different factors have lead to this new “age of doing”. Major advances in technology and the 2008 recession were two of the biggest catalysts.
Uncertain times and widespread job loss prompted individuals to focus on “bettering” themselves which translated into; learn more, do more, experience more, and grow more.
Because of increased access and…Continue
The idea behind Mandela Day is a great one, it encourages us to look beyond our little world and think of others. It is an opportunity to give or take action on behalf of those who are less fortunate. It unites us and gives rise to incredible acts of generosity and creativity.
It is definitely the first step in the battle against one of our biggest enemies, which is the severe lack of understanding and compassion in our nation. It is a lack that comes from never stepping outside our…Continue
Remarks by President Obama at the University of Cape Town, Cape Town, South Africa
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Thank you! (Applause.) Thank you very much. Thank you. (Applause.) Please, please, everybody have a seat. Hello Cape Town!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Thobela. Molweni. Sanibona. Dumelang. Ndaa. Reperile.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: See, I've been practicing. How-zit? (Applause.) Did I leave anybody out? All right, well, I didn't want to leave…Continue
For millions around the globe, the idea of a tertiary education is little more than a pipedream. But hopefully not for long. University of the People is the world's first non-profit, tuition-free, degree-granting online university, dedicated to opening the gates of higher education to all qualified individuals - regardless of financial, social or geographic constraints.
Unlike most online learning programs, University of the People programs combine educators, collaborative learning…Continue